Poems
During my punishment I had written some poems which I subsequently sent to my Master. He has ordered that I post them here. They were not intended for anyone but Him, but He wants me to post them, so post them I shall. I don’t tend to share my poetry with anyone, it is something I write for myself, to sort out my feelings and express my emotions. Of course I share it with Master, He is non-judgmental and I am expected to share all things with Him. I am a bit embarrassed to post these here.
~grace pearl~
Ocean of Despair
A moment of calm
in a sea of churning emotion
Tossed about by waves of guilt
drowning in an expanse of tears
Furious white caps
of relentless remorse force me under
While suffocatingly icy fingers
lash at my heart
i am floating adrift
with only One Who can save me
as i flow along
in an undercurrent of disappointment
Struggling to keep my head above water
trying to catch my breath
i am balancing precariously
at the edge of an abyss
i am…
achingly apologetic
sick with fear and selfish loathing
trying to maintain composure
but failing miserably
deserving devastation
imagining the worst to come
hollowed out and waiting
for unknown consequences
painfully pessimistic
crying for my lonely heart
humble tears amid panicked thoughts
waiting for my fate
complete contrition
as my soul burns with shame
craving Your forgiveness
while time slows to a crawl
Before You
wishing i could be
on my knees
begging for Your absolution
prostrating myself
before You
waiting for my punishment
bowing low
with face on floor
enduring my disgrace
Your angry voice
would be better
than nothing at all
fall from grace
humble whore
reaching for Masters hand
bowing head
hiding tear-stained face
empty shell
until You fill me again
bad girl
fallen from grace
Ignored
shaking with fear
of losing You
long lonely days
with more to come
Your distance felt
with acute despair
no end in sight
only pain to bear
knowing i deserve this
doesn’t make it any easier
