Online Submission
Those who haven’t experienced an online relationship tend to doubt or scoff at their depth and authenticity. When that relationship is of the D/s nature, people are even more skeptical. I can understand this to a degree, which is part of the reason I decided to write about some of the ways in which I submit to my Master, who lives in another state and at this time W/we haven’t YET met face-to-face.
Due to (and some would say despite) the fact that O/our relationship is online, I have learned exactly what it means to submit first and foremost in my heart and mind. From the beginning I have tried to do exactly as Master asks, usually without hesitation. Something about Him made me want to please Him from the get-go. Initially W/we chatted about my sexual experiences and desires, and I found myself opening up to Him, telling Him things no one else knew, or cared to know. As W/we continued meeting online, I felt the strongest urge to please Him, and was determined to earn His respect. The first time He told me how proud I had made Him, I was elated. Prior to that moment I had only the vaguest idea how high it would make me to submit to the will of Another.
I feel I should mention that He has never asked me to do anything that would harm my relationship with my husband or make him suspicious. He has always looked out for my well-being, including warning me against unscrupulous men posing as doms online. He went so far as to instruct me that if He ever made me uncomfortable I should listen to my gut instincts and act appropriately. In fact, He has often told me, regardless of the situation, to always trust my gut.
I have always felt safe with Him, mostly due to His forthright, level-headed and straight forward manner. He took things one step at a time, and always had a purpose, even if I didn’t see it at the time. He became my Teacher and guided me into the D/s lifestyle, all the time making requests of me, with which I eagerly complied. He assigned written tasks that helped me assimilate both what I had learned from Him as well as the websites He required me to visit.
As I mentioned in my first post, I quit smoking per His wishes. Anytime I crave either cigs or weed, I think of Him and that quells my desire. When I smell weed, it brings the urge to smoke, but then I imagine telling Master what I did (and I would tell Him if I did) and that does it for the craving. Everyday I chose not to smoke pot, and that is because my body is His temple and He wants it healthy and drug-free.
I have no desire to smoke cigarettes anymore, but the only reason I quit when I did was to please Him, to make Him proud and to submit to His desire that I not smoke. It was so easy once I set my mind to it. I had never even tried to quit before, but I had watched so many friends try and fail over and over. Quitting cigs is mind over matter, pure and simple. It was a constant battle at first, same with the pot, but I was determined to succeed and make Master proud. He was so encouraging and supportive, writing me long missives about how proud He was, telling me He knew I would succeed, and I didn’t want to let Him down. At the same time I knew I was doing the “right” thing for my health and that of course helped too.
Through that experience I learned the strength of my resolve and commitment, and realized how deeply I craved His pride. I quit because it was His will that I did so. Thinking of Him, and the fact that I was doing as He desired made it much easier than it would have been otherwise.
In following posts I will describe some of the other, more “fun” ways that I submit to my Master.
