More Confessions from an Online Whore
Although in the beginning of our relationship, sex with my husband was great, it isn’t now, at least not often. He isn’t dominate, creative, kinky or rough. He worries too much about “what I want him to do” and not enough about just fucking me silly. Sometimes he throws in an ass smack or a rough moment, once in a while even a lil’ “dirty talk”, but it usually feels forced and false, which does nothing for me. I need a natural dominant to fuck and use my cunt in the way it is meant to be fucked.
Recently I asked Master to control my sex life with my husband. Part of the reason I want Him to control this aspect of my life is because I desire Master’s dominance in all parts of my life. Another reason is that it just feels good to submit to Him in any way I can and I get off fucking at Masters discretion. It makes me cream just knowing that I am getting fucked this way or that way because Master willed it to be so.
The fact is that my sex life sucks right now. I want need to be physically fucked and used in extreme ways, preferably by my Master, and as that isn’t possible right now, getting fucked at His command is the next best thing.
In the past He has required that I only get fucked in the ass for a week, or that I am to fuck my husband but not cum. I have found that fucking my husband on Masters orders, and in the ways that Master desires makes mundane sex very exciting. It is like He is there in the room with me, telling His whore what to do, egging me on, and encouraging me to let go of my inhibitions (of which I still have a few).
O/our online sessions are intensely satisfying. They often leave me hot, sweaty and with a creaming cunt that aches to be fucked good and proper. Sometimes following a very intense session I’ll ask to fuck my husband. Usually this request is granted, although more than once it has led to my ass getting fucked. I must say that as uncomfortable as butt sex is, it makes me so eager just because I know it is what He wants. The next day I describe to Master (in a very graphic email) how it went down and what the outcome was.
If Master doesn’t give explicit instructions, it is understood that I can fuck and get fucked however and whenever I want. My husband, despite the fact that he isn’t into what I like (we have just grown apart in this respect), is horny ALL the time and I can pretty much have sex whenever I want. Sadly, I want to be told when, where and what to do. I don’t want it to be up to me. I want it to be taken out of my hands. One day I hope that is exactly what will happen. My Master is extreme, RAW, perverse and also always horny, so when W/we are T/together, my cunt will finally get what it deserves and desires!
Confessions of an Online Whore: Becoming Masters photo whore
As a sub that communicates with, and serves her Master in an online capacity I would like to express one of the ways I please and pleasure my Master.
When Master and I first began chatting He would ask me to put up pictures that I felt comfortable sharing with Him, some were just my face, some were suggestive and after just a little while, many were very graphic. I am an exhibitionist by nature and once I was comfortable with Him, it didn’t take long for me to expose more of myself to Him. For awhile none of the pictures had my face in them, just my body. He would tell me how to pose, what body parts He wanted me to expose and I would eagerly consent and follow through (God love digital cameras!). Eventually He asked that I email Him a variety of photos, ones of my choosing. They could be clothed, nude, or partially nude, whatever I felt comfortable sharing. Master ended up with pictures of my bare cunt, photos of me kneeling in only panties with my breasts exposed , and a host of other ‘naughty’ shots. That was the beginning of becoming Master’s photo whore. Still I had never sent any pictures that included my face. He had seen my face, but not attached to my nude, or semi-nude body.
Eventually I showed Master a picture of me in a short dress with my “come-fuck-me” expression, and He immediately asked for those to be emailed to Him. The next time He asked for a set of photos He implied that He wanted them similar to the “come-fuck-me” ones, but with my cunt exposed to Him. Timidly I asked if He wanted my face in them, to which He responded “Yes!! I want to see your whore face as you expose your whore cunt to Me” That made my cunt cream to say the least.
After that He wanted me to look in the camera for all photos. If the pictures are from behind I am to look back at Him. In the beginning my facial expression was very serious and determined, which pleased Him, so that is how I take them still. Sometimes I cannot help the slight smile that comes with knowing He will soon be seeing the pictures.
He has asked me to pose in ways that seemed awkward and used to make me feel silly, but were very pleasing and erotic to Him. One of these poses is to point to my cunt, or ass hole. When I point I am thinking “This is Your cunt Master” He seems to enjoy those pictures a lot and it is very obvious what I am thinking in them.
The first time He had me insert a bottle in my ass hole and look directly at the camera I felt so embarrassed, but now I get an electric thrill when I take such photos. A cucumber is next, but it is so hard to find ones that are *small* enough. He gives me special instructions for object fucking my ass, which insure that I am not torn or damaged in any way. Master wants an intact, healthy whore at His command.
At this time Master has very many photos of me, well into the hundreds (that is an understatement 
). I sometimes wonder if He’ll grow bored of them, or that they will become redundant. He assures me they are prized by Him and I am to “keep them coming”. Sometimes He gives me directions for what He wishes to see, but often I am left to my own creativity in taking these photos. Master gives me very detailed feedback, which, in addition to making me feel useful, sexy and owned, also enables me to take more pictures that are pleasing to Him.
He has expressed the desire to show me off and expose me online as well as to random strangers when W/we are T/together 24/7. He is a sharing Master and a voyeur and that bodes well for this exhibitionist. Right now this type of exhibition is impossible, due to O/our need for discreetness and anonymity. Master would like to figure out a way to post pictures of me that wouldn’t be terribly obvious if my husband or someone else that knows me were to run across them. The fact that the only thing my husband ever reads is Penthouse Letters or Literotica should work in O/our favor for this venture. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens, as I am leaving this totally up to my Master.
Online Submission
Those who haven’t experienced an online relationship tend to doubt or scoff at their depth and authenticity. When that relationship is of the D/s nature, people are even more skeptical. I can understand this to a degree, which is part of the reason I decided to write about some of the ways in which I submit to my Master, who lives in another state and at this time W/we haven’t YET met face-to-face.
Due to (and some would say despite) the fact that O/our relationship is online, I have learned exactly what it means to submit first and foremost in my heart and mind. From the beginning I have tried to do exactly as Master asks, usually without hesitation. Something about Him made me want to please Him from the get-go. Initially W/we chatted about my sexual experiences and desires, and I found myself opening up to Him, telling Him things no one else knew, or cared to know. As W/we continued meeting online, I felt the strongest urge to please Him, and was determined to earn His respect. The first time He told me how proud I had made Him, I was elated. Prior to that moment I had only the vaguest idea how high it would make me to submit to the will of Another.
I feel I should mention that He has never asked me to do anything that would harm my relationship with my husband or make him suspicious. He has always looked out for my well-being, including warning me against unscrupulous men posing as doms online. He went so far as to instruct me that if He ever made me uncomfortable I should listen to my gut instincts and act appropriately. In fact, He has often told me, regardless of the situation, to always trust my gut.
I have always felt safe with Him, mostly due to His forthright, level-headed and straight forward manner. He took things one step at a time, and always had a purpose, even if I didn’t see it at the time. He became my Teacher and guided me into the D/s lifestyle, all the time making requests of me, with which I eagerly complied. He assigned written tasks that helped me assimilate both what I had learned from Him as well as the websites He required me to visit.
As I mentioned in my first post, I quit smoking per His wishes. Anytime I crave either cigs or weed, I think of Him and that quells my desire. When I smell weed, it brings the urge to smoke, but then I imagine telling Master what I did (and I would tell Him if I did) and that does it for the craving. Everyday I chose not to smoke pot, and that is because my body is His temple and He wants it healthy and drug-free.
I have no desire to smoke cigarettes anymore, but the only reason I quit when I did was to please Him, to make Him proud and to submit to His desire that I not smoke. It was so easy once I set my mind to it. I had never even tried to quit before, but I had watched so many friends try and fail over and over. Quitting cigs is mind over matter, pure and simple. It was a constant battle at first, same with the pot, but I was determined to succeed and make Master proud. He was so encouraging and supportive, writing me long missives about how proud He was, telling me He knew I would succeed, and I didn’t want to let Him down. At the same time I knew I was doing the “right” thing for my health and that of course helped too.
Through that experience I learned the strength of my resolve and commitment, and realized how deeply I craved His pride. I quit because it was His will that I did so. Thinking of Him, and the fact that I was doing as He desired made it much easier than it would have been otherwise.
In following posts I will describe some of the other, more “fun” ways that I submit to my Master.
Here Goes Nothing…
This is my first go at the whole blogging thing. I started reading blogs completely by accident and in a very short period of time I have become addicted to reading quite a few. All the blogs I read are D/s related or just plain sexual. With my Master’s permission, I wanted to start my own. It is a bit intimidating actually. I’m not sure where to start or if anyone will even get anything out of it.
This blog is for me to explore my submission as well hone my writing skills. I would like it to be an outlet where I can express parts of myself that must remain hidden on a daily basis. It is hard to keep such a big part of me hidden from all those around my inner circle and as such I hope that writing this blog gives me some kind of inner calm. I enjoy expressing myself through writing, so this foray into blogging should prove to be somewhat therapeutic; that is my hope anyway. Reading some of the blogs I have found is very helpful to me, especially Kittens Pawprints in Slavery (I would make it a link if I had any idea how to do so…). Her open/candid writing and some of the similarities I observe between her and I make me think “Okay, maybe I can put myself out there as well.”
I suppose an introduction of sorts is in order. I am a 26 year old owned submissive who lives on the outskirts of a major metropolitan city in the Midwest. My Master is much older than I and lives on the East Coast. O/our relationship is based online right now. W/we plan to move into the real life 24/7 arena one day, but at this time O/our vanilla marriages prevent that. Yes, W/we are both in vanilla marriages. With that said, I must ask that if Y/you are going to judge or berate, please keep those comments to Y/yourself. While W/we deeply desire to have a real life tactile relationship with O/one A/another, W/we are not eager to hurt O/our spouses. W/we are not cruel unfeeling P/people; W/we married for love and as it turns out, love is not enough to be truly happy, especially not with such deep burning D/s desires.
I love rough ‘kinky’ sex. I want to be used and ‘abused’, I want to be fucked by other Men, and I want to be bound and helpless as that happens. I want control to be taken out of my hands and I want the ‘whore’ inside me to flourish and grow. Unfortunately, my husband is not dominant or very kinky at all. He lets me run our sex life which leaves me so incredibly unsatisfied and desirous for something more. I am constantly trying to “Top from the bottom” with him, in order to get off during sex. This lack of satisfaction and deep-seated need for a dominant Man led me to my Master.
When I met Him I had no idea what O/our relationship would become. I was still in a discovery mode; meaning that realizing my burning desire for extremely rough kinky sex was a symptom of a much deeper and more significant need. I didn’t really recognize this yearning for what it was until I met the Man Who could control and dominate my cunt. Upon finding that Man, my Master, I was humbled and grateful, as submitting to Him brought me a measure of true happiness and fulfillment that I had not felt before.
These days I am a much happier girl, one who feels more alive and more sure of who she is and what she stands for. Through concrete acts of submission, I have found a calm peace within my soul. His dominance over my cunt allows me to explore various aspects of my submissiveness as well as my sexual fantasies and “perverse” needs, without fear of judgment or recrimination. Earning His pride and respect fills me with a joy that I cannot properly express. I take pride in being Master’s whore. He deserves a cunt who knows her place is at His feet. That is my place, where I belong and I am indeed eager to take up my position there. Master has taught me a level of patience that I never thought I could achieve.
Through my submission to Master and His dominance over me, I have become grounded and more focused. His dominance has helped to center me as well as allowed me to rediscover who I am and what I am about. Throughout my relationship with my husband I have let parts of myself get lost and pushed to the side. Now I am back on the path (in a genuine way) of finding and getting in touch with who I truly am and what brings real meaning to my life.
I hate that I am the ‘dominant’ one in my marriage, but my husband is not the type to take control, and to be honest, after so many years of being in an ‘average’ relationship where he exerts little or no dominance, I don’t think I could genuinely submit to him even if he has an epiphany and tries to play the role of a Dom. I didn’t realize I was a sub when I got married, in fact I am not generally a submissive woman at all. I am submissive only to my Master, and He is pretty much the first Person to evoke this from me.
Most people in my life would actually consider me dominant and would laugh disbelievingly if I told them that I submit to this Man. I am also a feminist and if those same people discovered some of the ways in which I submit to Him they would be shocked to their very core (which makes me smile actually). Finding the balance between feminism and submission is an interesting journey, one that continues each day.
Part of what I pushed to the side was my attraction to women. I was openly bi-sexual in high school as well as when I met my husband. He wasn’t comfortable with that part of my sexuality, so I fooled myself into believing that it was a “phase.” Before I discovered my submissive nature I began to allow my desire for women to resurface. I do not wish to date women, although I did have girlfriends in high school.
At this stage in my life I want the intimacy that being with a woman brings. I want the softness of a woman’s body and the heat that comes from our mutual contact. I like having girls who are friends that I can also relate to on a sexual and intimate level. I won’t go into detail about what I want physically with women, I assume anyone who reads this can imagine that for themselves 
. I do have a (girl) friend that I fool around with a little, but it hasn’t gone as far as I would like it too. With much encouragement from Master I am trying to change that.
Master has also guided me in taking better care of my health. I smoked cigarettes for over 11 years and finally quit a few months ago. I quit not because He demanded it, but because I knew it was what He wanted. Never having been a smoker, He was careful about how He stated this desire. He supported me throughout, making my struggle His own. Without Him I would still be freezing my ass off outside for a cig. However, I will never ever bitch at someone else to quit, because that didn’t work with me. It is a personal choice that one must come to on their own, for whatever reason. He was my reason.
I also quit another smoking habit as well. I had smoked pot everyday for over 9 years, and this He did demand that I quit. It was actually harder in many respects that quitting cigs. I am now grateful that I no longer depend on pot to relax, or to ease my anxiety. That drug affected my short term memory, my bodies ability to relax, and for me it encouraged apathy and laziness. I was unable to relax at first, not smoking pot made me restless and anxious. I am fine without it now.
Well once I got started it was hard to cut myself off! I have so many ideas buzzing in my head about what else I want to write, so if you have stumbled across this, please stay tuned and read on as I continue to find my way on this path that is lit by Master.
